Nina Simone - Ne Me Quitte Pas

Love Me Tender - Norah Jones

december sudah

rasa baru new year 2010

now dah end year

tak sedar masa pergi mana



oh kami merasa snow for the first time

mula mula sudah tentulah jakun

kagum,excited dan sewaktu dengannya

and this year snow turun awal



tapi penangan snow

masyaallah

sejuknya

tak tahan

memang tak tahan

tak tahulah macam mana nak survived throughout winter



btw hanna got accepted to nursery class

dah masuk 3 bulan dok sini

baru ada kosong.

kasihan hanna

selamat hari raya aidiladha

macam nak buat ucapan hari raya pulak.
ye tahun ni raya haji di perantauan
tak rasa raya pun.

so nak ambil feel raya buka takbir kat youtube.
nasib baik zaman ni dah ada youtube
my significant other got class the whole day today

so just berhari raya with my two kids
i managed to masak nasik beriani
kari ayam dan rendang daging
and kek batik
and makaroni bakar

wow
nasi beriani, rendang dan kari ayam pakai ready made paste je
kek batik and macaroni bakar je buat dari scratch
so ok la

pergi beraya rumah kawan2 kat sini
one pakistani lady masak beriani and lamb yang sangat mervelous
apalah sangat kalau nak banding dengan nasikku
ahahahhahah

ada gathering petang ni
bawaklah apa yang ada atas meja tu
semoga dapat hayati erti pengorbanan

have'nt been writing.
got loads of time
just got nothing to write

unnoticeably we are in our 2nd month here
have settled down
no more homesickness hahahaha

both the kids are down with fever now
the outside temperature is dropping fast
unbelievable how people could live here
sejuk sangat for me

raya haji is approaching in the next 2 days
my significant other have class that day
so i guess tak beraya lah kami
might need to excuse aiman from school

nak masak apa?
itu yang paling crucial knowing that i am not that good in cooking
definitely not rendang
hmm kena google resipi
tengok teringin apa
boleh CUBA masak :p

home sick

seperti kami mengambil nombor bergilir-gilir untuk homesick
though i never showed any signs of my homesickness to the kids
i have never tried to hide it from the other half.
supaya dia tahu perasaan isterinya. kih kih kih

hanna's homesick comes and goes
she's just four
i am not sure apa yang dia homesick kan
probably her grandmother
or if anything upsets her here
she'll just cry and said she wants to go home

as for danish
he's the one yang overly excited to come here
so far he never complaints anything
tapi semalam
as usual for not knowing the main reason
air mata dia jatuh jua
he's gonna be 8 this december
he cried and cried
dan bila mana kita bertanya lanjut
air matanya jatuh tanpa dipinta

it breaks my heart to see him like that
i have tried so hard to make them feels at home
seems that i have to try harder

serabut

hahha dok sini cuti pun mode serabut
ntah apa yang diserabutkan pun tak tahu
cuma hati tidak tenang
perlu dekatkan diri padaNya
so that hati lebih tenang dan tenteram

we have settled mostly everything.
except hanna dinna get placement to any nursery.
so she's gonna stuck with me for a while

hubs dah start busy with assignments and all
danish is happy with his school
cuti sekolah baru ni we had a quick trip to london.
just me and the kids.
hubs ada class so hahah kena tinggal

i have loads on my mind
banyak benda nak tulis just do not know how to put it
my feelings mostly.

nak write about activity
well nothing much
my routine would be
prepare breakfast
aiman's lunchbox
when ayah and aiman off to school
the laptop is mine
till 12 when i have stop and prepare lunch
hubs having lunch at home everyday.
banyak pahala i dok sini just by memasak ;p

hubs off to class after 2
pick up aiman at 3.15
that's about it..
oh don't forget about dinner.

so really that's nothing much
but duduk sini
perasaan sensitif ada lebih
perasaan nak marah tetap selalu ada
again am not sure for what reason.

over the rainbow

Somewhere over the rainbow Way up high,

There's a land that I heard of Once in a lullaby.

Somewhere over the rainbow Skies are blue,

And the dreams that you dare to dream Really do come true.

Someday I'll wish upon a star

And wake up where the clouds are far Behind me.

Where troubles melt like lemon drops

Away above the chimney tops

That's where you'll find me.

Somewhere over the rainbow

Bluebirds fly.

Birds fly over the rainbow.

Why then, oh why can't I?

If happy little bluebirds fly Beyond the rainbow

Why, oh why can't I?

apa ada pada tarikh

101010

my life now

i like the fact that

i need not worry:

about my tasks at the office

about datelines

about court cases

about problem with land registration etc etc

about having to wake up early in the morning for aiman to go to school

about fussy and irritating clients

about the need to answer to the clients

about having to settle problematic case in the office

i like the fact that i can travel in foreign country



but i do not like the fact that

i am thousand miles away from families and friends that i love

i can't just go out and have lunch/dinner/breakfast as easily as i used to

i can't go out as much as i like to with my bff

i can't leave the kids with their aunts and granny

the limitation of food that i can eat

the need to cook every single day for breakfast/lunch/dinner

though i can travel the budget seems always to be on the way



but i do know that we have to be thankful and to accept that we do not always get whatever that we want.

i will try to live as grateful as possible for whatever that have been given to me

i have few things in my mind to be fulfilled whilst i am here

to be closer to Allah and be better muslim

to be closer to the kids

and to be better mother and wife inshaallah

tempat baru

flight from heathrow

bridge in the city centre

lake in the uni

merenung nasib dan masa depan hahahhah

our transport for the first week

city centre

scribbler

kedai ni nama scribbler. rogi masa amik gambar tak perasan tak nampak another b. it was in glasgow. our first weekend here

our 2nd week

dah masuk 2nd week
alhamdulillah we have settled most things.
aiman dah mula sekolah early this week.
now tunggu hanna dapat green light from the nursery, am not sure what took them so long. the good part is that she kept me busy and she's my best buddy for the time being.
she will hug me and kiss me most of the time.
ayah has started his class
so he'll be busy as a bee
as for me duduk sorang-sorang ni tak boleh melayan perasaan kan.
bila datang rasa sunyi
bila datang rasa rindu.. hahhahah
jiwang pulak

we have bought a car for our daily use. memang kena ada car since aiman's school is not within walking distance.
sejuk memang sejuk
tak paham macam mana people here can still wear short/sleeveless top
kita dah macam dok eskimo hahhahaha

we've got a tv but dinna apply for a tv licence yet so for the time being it is used solely for thei play station game.
tv tu pun ada malaysian sini yang ada extra
all of them are very helpful. kurang sikit rasa susah hati.

we still got a lot of shopping to do.
barang dapur tak complete
hari tu angkut dengan bas je mana boleh angkut banyak-banyak.

i have started polishing my cooking skill.
i do not like to cook that much but since i do not have that much to do and nak makan apa kalau tidak kan.

mula menjenguk blog-blog and website resipi to get some ideas of what to cook.
petang semalam buat cucur udang. something that i have never done in malaysia. pemalas sungguh. nak kata sedap tuh ahhahah over aaa but it's eatable.

till then

adjustment

we are now adjusting ourself at the new place and environment.
left malaysia the night of the first raya.
sempat rasa kemeriahan pagi raya
sempat pergi ambil gambar kat studio. we have never done that before.
since semua adik beradik berkumpul raya ni so just grab the opportunity.

the journey took us about 24hours.
we left home around 6 pm petang raya to catch a flight in penang
takut jammed kat jambatan
and arrived at our destination around 6 pm malaysia time the next day.

penatnya. tapi alhamdulillah semuanya ok
not much questions asked by the immigration in london and all our belongings are intact.
we were picked up by malaysian students who has generously agreed to come and pick us up.
brought back to our accommodation and di bawa beraya.
anak-anak dah out by 5pm. masing-masing tertidur di open house.
ikutkan hati mak budak pun nak tertidur juga tapi hahaha mana bisa kan.

pergi shopping barang-barang dapur semalam
and register kids for their school today
am not sure how i am gonna cope once the kids is not around and hubby pergi class
jangan ku nangis hari-hari homesick sudah
ini pun air mata menunggu masa nak turun.

hope we can adjust well and pray for the best.

will write when time permits.

stress.stress.stress

stress level dah tahap maksima
tak tahu apa yang nak distress kan
tapi yang penting stress

me and the other half pun ashik nak snap each other ja
we cannot have a decent conversation lately without having an argument
masing-masing stress dan sensitip kot

hanna pun tak sihat
a bit feverish and tadi pi amik nebulizer.
she's very sensitive/allergic
so mama la stress
takut juga di sana nanti kalau kena athma attack
senang ke nak amik nebilizer cam kat sini

hohohohoho (eh dah macam krismas pulak) heheh sensitip sensitip

countdown nak raya

aiman bercountdown sakan
1. nak raya
2. nak habis puasa
3. dah nak berangkat

banyak benda nak kena settle.
walau dah start cuti masih kena attend meeting.
settle-settle hutang
masa weekend merdeka yang panjang itu berpoya-poya di kl
dan ambil peluang ke rumah mertua.
raya nanti tak sempat balik dah

barang-barang ada yang dah dimasukkan dalam beg
aduhhh kalau boleh nak skip bab packing terus sampai disana boleh tak
masuk siap-siap timbang tengok dah lebih
keluarkan balik dah kurang pulak.
memang menjalani minggu-minggu yang stress.

i am writing this while in my in laws house
ingatkan hari tuh balik dah last.
ada emergency. father in law not well so kena admitted to hospital.
me and hubby rush balik.
left the kids with their opah.

ada lagi a few things in my checklist yang still not ticked.
tak tahu la ada masa untuk tick atau be left unticked.
sampai kapalterbang nak jalan tak habes packing. huhuuhuhu

hari raya nanti pun mesti kena control makan
kalau tak tu selalunya makan like there's no tomorrow
and tomorrow sakit perut macam apa.
so taknak la bersakit perut atas kapal terbang pulak..
ishh sengsara

aiman

after 11 days berpuasa without fail hari ni aiman tak puasa for 2 reasons:

1. dia demam.
2.tak terbangun sahur.

tak sure demam biasa atau tempias chicken pox hanna.
me yang paranoid dok checking on him if ada red spot all over his body ke tak.
so far found none except red spot on his face tapi nampak macam nyamuk gigit.
too early to tell
urghhh tension.
ada time nak heal before raya.....
hopefully tak kena chicken pox langsung

clumsy me

hari ni dapat jemputan berbuka di luar.
brought my whole family out.
alhamdulillah.
the buffet was rm 30 per pax tapi dah namanya jemputan kan so tak payah bayar.
the food was ok la tapi tak cukup makanan.
after first round except for nasik and lauk, kueh and other tid bits dah tak refill.
i think it is not worth to pay that muc with that amount of food.
but since di belanja tidakla membuat onar pulak di situ.
telan dan makan mana ada.

ohh part clumsy dah nak balik, suddenly perasan that my wallet is not with me.
aduuuh.
carik bawah meja
lari ke surau
check dalam kereta. tak ada.
rasa kat rumah
so jalan-jalan sekejap pastu balik rumah
pon tak ada.

mula panic. in fact i have started to call bank to ask for temporary block credit card.
pastu teringat last time bukak was kat office.
rush la pulak malam-malam pi opis yang sunyi dan lengang di kala orang sembahyang terawih
nasib baik ada

my husband dah agak
perangai i memang macam tuh
sangat clumsy
and this is not the first time.

7 ramadhan

alhamdulillah. dah 7 hari puasa. aiman managed to puasa setakat ni without much complaint. except for the 1st day of puasa yang dia menangis tak larat. other days tak dengar rungutan dah.
he has stopped schooling. saja stopkan awal sebab malas nak hantar sekolah ok. kiranya dia berehat sebulan di rumah. bila suruh buat revision sikit-sikit dia tanya bila puasa otak kita jalan ke mama?

hanna pon dah recovered. her chicken pox was not that bad but last saturday morning around 5 am kena rush ke hospital sebab high fever. badan tak panas but temperature dah 40 degrees. dah terketar-ketar dah. and me being very panicky mother ohh sangat rasa nak menangis. she was not admitted, i dinna want to. lepas tu monitor her temperature saja. sangat takut sebab she tetap active and badan tak panas tiba-tiba temperature tinggi.

my firm partner dah selamat balik dan has started work. unfortunately her hubby kena work in kl. kesian juga kat dia but what can i do except doa and hopefully she can handle and look after the firm. now it's my turn nak berkelana. i have started to delegate work to her. insyaallah hopefully she can manage. replacement staff pun dah dapat and the one who wanted to resign earlier dah change her mind. alhamdulillah sangat.

tadi pergi beli groceries nak bawa pergi sana. waaah bahaya shopping bila puasa. banyak beli unnecessary things. since i can let go of the firm's work i have now start seriously put aside things for packing. hal nak packing kena serahkan to my other half as i am a terrible person in arranging things.

selamat puasa all

wish

Can we pretend that airplanes
In the night sky
Are like shooting stars
I could really use a wish right now

HAC

aiman's HARI ANUGERAH CEMERLANG was held on the 2nd of August.

supposedly the Sultan of Kedah and Sultanah datang but the were replaced by the Tengku Bendahara. still since there's royalty involved banyaklah protocols need to be adhered too.

and aiman had been practicing untuk ambil hadiah tuh almost every day for the past 2 weeks. kesian pulak budak-budak dan cikgu budak.

nampak sangat nama kanak-kanak yang lahir in the year 2k.plenty of danish and lots of aiman.

it was last year's result. we dinna know why he got to attend the ceremony until we got the programme book.(yes aiman tak kesah.dia tak tahu pun)

we were not allowed to take photographs hence no picture of the tengku bendahara hehehhehe. i would prefer a more santai ceremony for the kids tapi siapalah aku..huauhaha

ini gambar budak yang tak boleh attend the ceremony due to under age.

she's having chicken pox right now but tak teruk sangat.

semoga hanna cepat lega.

on another note hari ni first day of puasa.

it is a public holiday here in Kedah.

but since aiman telah diberhentikan sekolah terlebih awal kerana kemalasan ibunya maka cuti itu tak bermakna.

hopefully aiman boleh puasa lagi tahun ni.

last year was the first time he puasa and he managed to puasa for 20 days.

he is full of surprises or is it me yang underestimate him?

ramadhan

selamat berpuasa

lega

alhamdulillah. lepas slow talk ngan the longest ever served staff and with a counter offer she decided to stay with us.
sangat thankful and relieved.

in 2 more days kita akan start puasa.
tadi jalan2 kat penang
sale raya dah start
bukan takat sale siap dengan lagu dan ucapan raya okeh
kat paper pon dah start ucapan raya perantau. hehehhe
advance sungguh sekarang
bila dengar lagu raya hati terus jadi sayu

cobaan

am trying very hard to accept the fact that my office is in a very bad condition right now.
one staff left end of july.
just managed to get her replacement today.
another one is leaving.
got better offer from a bigger firm which i definitely can't counter
thus need to find a new one SOON.
the one leaving end of this month has been with us since we opened in 2003.
and did i mention that another staff is on maternity leave.
so is it bad?
i have been thinking hard on ways to overcome the problem
am very sad to leave the firm in this kinda condition
yes i am also in a very bad condition.

of life

tadi pegi pasar
kat kedai runcit ada org beli kuah rojak mak bee (agak femes di kedah)
anyway masa nak bayar pembeli nih bising pasal rega dah naik
penjual kata..gula kan dah naik
kuah rojak tu pakai gula banyak
mak bee dah naikkan harga
pembeli tak puas hati tapi tetap bayar kata
kuah rojak tuh dah berhabuk kat shelf
gula baru naik seminggu
kuah rojak dah dok situ dekat sebulan
mak bee jugak yang salah
memang ambik kesempatan menaikkan harga
tapi kerajaan tetap kata kita akan pantau agar harga barangan tidak naik
nak pantau macammana bang oii

this week agak sebok menginterview orang
macam-macam pesen datang
nak pakai kerani ja tapi yang datang
seorang ada sijil pelukis pelan
demand a salary yang tak mampu den nak setuju
dia kata dia ada pengalaman
tapi tak sama dik
kat opis ni kita takde lukis pelan
kena ajar from zero
so reject

seorang datang ada diploma
accounting
pon nak gaji banyak
tak mampu lah
reject jugak

seorang ni
degree holder
agreed to my terms of salary
lebih kelayakan
tapi dia tak kesah
susah nak cari kerja katanya
tapi rasa nak reject gak
sebab mesti tak kerja lama nanti lari bila dapat offer yang setimpal
tapi kesian sebab dah 6 bulan tak bekerja
kerajaan kata ekonomi dah pulih..ye ke?

drooling mode

watched eclipse movie just now
yeah i know it a lil bit too late since the opening was on the 8th of july
but then i only watched the first two episodes last month
so for this episode it's kinda very updated hahaha
since i so want to watch the movie and its not screening in sungai petani or kedah territory for unknown reason
we went to sunway carnival seberang jaya
and yes i dragged poor hubby and the kids as well
though i heard complaint now and then from the kids as well as mr hubby
i can still drool over mr edward
i have'nt had this kinda crush since brad pitt in lagends of the fall
and that was like nearly 15 years ago
having said that urgghhh i felt so old
anyway hanna fell asleep after one hour so gimme some me time to drool
and hubby was like comparing eclipse with yusof haslam movie?
saying that the movie is so jiwang.
jiwang ke?

bodoh ke malas?

tadi pegi bank
nak tanya pasal kad atm
boleh buat withdrawal kat oversea ke.
rasa memang boleh
tapi my atm card jenis kuno punya
sebelum bank merge laagi
so nak confirm kad lama nih dgn takde tulis cirrus/plus ke maestro ke
boleh pakai ke?
selamba je MANAGER bank ok bukan kuli
jawab
tak boleh
mana boleh buat withdrawal over sea.
kad baru ke kad lama ke tak boleh!
nampak sangat menipu sebab
masa aku tanya aku tak cakap pi mana?
dan aku tahu kat china/indon/thai boleh buat withdrawal sebab kat internet banking dok war-war kan takde charges kalau withdraw kat those countries
so adakah dia MALAS atau BODOH
sorry tapi dah namanya MANAGER kan takkan boleh jawap senang macam tuh je
baik aku tutup je terus akaun kat sana
BOLAS lah tuh..sengal

malas

i have been very busy
apa yang sibuknya saya pun tak tahu
yang pasti ia tidak melibatkan perkara-perkara persiapan kami ke sana
kerja-kerja yang banyak
masalah-masalah yang timbul
tugas-tugas yang tak henti
nasib baik my partner dah nak habis cuti hujung bulan ni
sempat serahkan tugas lepas tu boleh bernafas
sekejap kot
sebab lepas tu nak berhempas pulas
persiapan apa yang patut

kadang-kadang terasa seperti mahu lekas ke sana
bukan apa
nak lari
lari dari kesibukan
lari dari tugas-tugas
lari dari masalah-masalah
tapi mana boleh lari
semua perlu diselesaikan sebelum pergi
malas!!!!!

ingat bila ke sana tak ada tugas yang menanti
tugas utama dan yang paling besar
menjaga keluarga
terlalu takut
takut tak termampu
sebab saya kurang sabar orangnya
bila ingat tugas baru yang menanti
seperti mahu tunda nak kesana

sebenarnya tak tahu apa yang hendak
itu tidak
ini pun tidak
sudah gila agaknya orang ini

monday blues

pagi-pagi isnin yang sengal dapat sms.
sorang mc
sorang mintak early maternity leave.
tinggal sorang je lagi kat opis.
maka haruslah juga stuck kat opis hari ni.
takut yang seorang tu tak cukup kaki dan tangan

date nak pergi dah decide.
pergi lambat sikit.
sempat raya sini dulu.
kalau raya on the 10th sempat beraya sakan sebelum bertolak.
kalau raya on the 11th berayalah kami atas kapal terbang.
asal semua selamat mana-mana pun tak kesah

untitled

i managed to find a replacement for my staff who decided to quit without giving proper notice.
unfortunately though she only came for a day and decided to quit the day after.
it makes me wonder was i at fault? am i that terrible for her to work with me.
but how could you judge a person in a day.
and i was not in the office for the whole day. only 1/4 of the day.
so it must be her not me.
and i have got staff who has worked with me since 2004.
no i do not think it's my fault.
but it is still stressing me out.
having to find a new one all over again.

on the other note in less than one and a half month i will be leaving.
and i have not started packing
oh you lovely ladies out there.
could you be an angel and help me out here
on what should i be packing and what should not
for i think by this time i should start doing something
or at least have a clue on what i should be doing.

when i didn't know what to write...
remembering the journeys that i have taken would always put a smile on my face.
and after going through all these photos
i wonder how in this place was chosen
in 2008 we went to Clark Philippines

a friend of hubby recommended this place

and after struggling and going berserk with airasia with their free seat sale

we booked a ticket to clark without referring for a second opinion or worst...

without checking through internet

we took air asia from penang to kota kinabalu

and from kk to clark

we intended to go to manila

but something came up so we spent our time in clark aka angeles city

and cubic bay.

their biggest supermarket chain "SM City"

very crowded city

sampai2 aduuhh clark ni banyak tempat2 camni.

sambil berjalan-jalan kat luar tu diaorang akan panggil memanggil

gambar di atas adalah jeepney.

mode of transportation kat sana

i got to know about this jeepney from playhouse disney channel

banyak dan murah dan macam2 design

gambar bawah adalah jeepney tengah parking

ini adalah subic bay/marine punya base which according to the recommendation lawa lah

tapi ntahlah

tension jugak sebab terpedaya cakap orang

but at least pernah sampai sini

dan naik jeepney

tapi makan masyaallah susah nya

we survived with brahim

tapi bila ingat balik at that point in time air asia did'nt have that much of destination

so to find something different we agreed on that.

not that bad

but definitely not going there again and not recommended.

when i'm feeling blue

sedikit down hari nih atas sebab-sebab berikut:

#1.baru lepas bertekak dengan client yang tidak mahu buat bayaran lepas semua kerjanya kita selesaikan.
and he's giving 1001 excuses.
kalau namanya kedekut tu cakap je la kedekut. tak payah nak cari salah kita pulak taknak bayar
kata not informed earlier la
tak setuju dengan quotation la

#2. staff nak berenti kerja bagi short notice

#3. saya puasa ganti hari nih. 2nd day for this week. 2 more days to go.

#4. too much thing in my mind; work related;packing related and other issues

#5. sebenarnya takut nak start living away from home for a year.what would my life be like? itu yang emotionally unstable. huhuhu

sleepless but not in seattle

i couldn't sleep last night.
dinna know what's running on my mind
i think those runners went away when the clock is nearing 4 am
and i have got 2 hours more before waking up again
so frustrating and tiring
i think it's a sign of aging for i do not recall having trouble sleeping when i was young. oh my now i sounded so old

it's july already

pejam celik pejam celik dah july

dulu tasini sekarang susi

whilst in kl last week, we make plan to meet up with my ex bibik.
she's working somewhere in jalan duta.
she was so happy to see the kids especially hanna.
she spent one day with us.
so i had the chance to korek what really happened.
she claimed that she got a bad tempered and gatal employer so she ran.
she ran for her life supposedly. and without her passport.
but now she got a new one already
new passport with new name. waaah senang senang je boleh tukar ganti nama dan pasport
when i told aiman bout this he was like what that easy aa ato change name. so now he wants to be named as BEn.
and i am sure this piece of information is widely known amongst them.
and they need only pay some fine to the immigration to get new visa for new employer.
dengar cerita dia kasihan. plus she worked for me for nearly four years.
but try putting myself in the employer shoes.
dahla bayar mahal2
larik plak tuh
bingung gue

wednesday - watch movie day cos it's cheap

brought the kids to watch toy story 3 just now.
hanna liked it
aiman said it was just ok
me? i think it's quite entertaining.
ayah? no he could'nt make it as we watched 5.45's show.
why wednesday cos the ticket is half price on wednesday
could'nt watch a night show cos the kids hafta wake up early for school tomorrow.
it's a nice movie go watch it if you have'nt done so

wishing and hoping

after several days struggling with the online form finally on friday we went to kl to submit the form and for our bio metric details be taken.
unfortunately though there were several things that were'nt quite right in the first attempt.
i was so frustrated that i decided to just go back home and to come again for submission the next week.
but after several drinks and rational conversation we manage to settle and ready to submit the documents on monday.
so for now what i can do is to doa and hopefully all of us will be granted a visa.

jalan jalan

some pictures taken during cambodia trip last may

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

reconnect

i manage to find my primary school friends in facebook.
accidentally found one and then led to another.
last time i contacted them was in 1988 when in was in standard six after which i went to a boarding school in seremban.
after my father passed away, we left kuala kangsar for good.
that was when i totally lost contact with all of them.
i can hardly recognize some of them.
some are still recognizable though after several guessing.
it made my day to be able to reconnect with friends whom i suppose shares earlier part of my life.
the part where life was simple....


hello there my friend!!! it has been a while...

visa application

we are now in the process to apply for visa to be away for a year.
for me, the online application sucks
i am not sure of almost everything.
just started applying this morning and by lunchtime i got headache already
sangat stress ok
bolehkah upah sapa-sapa untuk tolong saya
and the information contained in the offifcial website is not helping either
too much infromation opens in a new window
wish me luck

puja umor

been so busy lately
busy pindah rumah (mak yang pindah) tapi kami yang sebok lebih
busy attend kenduri
busy dengan kerja
busy sebab anak-anak cuti sekolah
busy busy busy
plus network at mom's new house not so good
so i missed to write an entry on my birthday
bought an ice cream cake this year
as usual kids yang over excited. everybody's birthday is their birthday
lepas pindah randah
sempat juga bersuka ria
celebrated with all 6 siblings and their spouses
mom yang sangat excited juga
happy 34th birthday ngeeeeee

cerita kawan

ada seorang kawan.
husband dia dah meninggal about 2 years ago.
ada anak 3 orang.
sejak husband dia meninggal i tried my very best to be a good friend to her.
help her in any way i can
cheer her up.
tapi mana nak sama dgn husband kan.

somebody broke her heart end of last year.
she was hearbroken for quite some time.
kasihan tapi what can i do.
nak recommend to anybody pun i taklah ramai sgt single male friend.

yesterday i told her that i'll be moving away for a year.
a news that i have been delaying to tell for quite some time.
she knew that i have to go anyway
i gave her some comforting words. it's just for a year.

she said setahun tuh lama
entah-entah by the time you balik i dah ada anak
i thought she was just joking
no she's not
when i asked and asked she said there's somebody proposed to her already
and she's giving it a thought

that guy turned out to be a married man with three kids
the wife is pregnant with the fourth child
i was speechless

then i asked her have they told the wife?
she said they did'nt have the heart to tell her as she is in a very fragile condition.
i repeatedly forced them to tell the wife first. let the guy handle the issue with the wife first then only we would know the status of my friend.
she kept on saying that they want to proceed with the nikah first then let time decide
i kata u carik nahas
sooner or later she will know
i kata lagi you kena pikir anak anak
she said she just want to be happy
but i said this is not the way. to elope and etc
the conversation ended there as i have got an incoming call.

bukak facebook this morning
she has changed her status in fb to married
???

now everyone can fly

last weekend pegi phnom penh lagi. bought the ticket in august last year when air asia was on sale. a return trip kl-phnom penh was on rm 70.00 per pax. sangat murah booking je dulu pegi tak pegi belakang kira. tapi last sekali pegi juga. masa on the way nak naik flight tuh iaitu dengan memanjat tangga yang tinggi itu terbaca slogan now everyone can fly. memang betul lah. i totally agreed. tapi rasanya sekarang the fare is not that cheap anymore plus the add-ons etc. but air asia memang telah membawa saya berjalan ke beberapa tempat. without airasia tak merasala pegi ke beberapa destinasi tuh.

teringat masa air asia mula-mula in the market. they will cancel the flight without informing us in advance. me and aiman had to wait in penang airport for almost 4 hours sebab masa tu they cancel and combined flight. that was the first time aiman naik flight and he was so excited tapi dah kena tunggu punyala lama. he slept all the way to kl. at that point in time there was no assigned seat. but since i was with infant boleyla masuk awal.

after that they all dah cerdik sikit kot informed early if there's change in the schedule tapi tidak begitu cerdik sebab tak de seat lagi. aduhh kena berpusu-pusu berebut seat la pulak.

but now you can pay to get the seat u want. for me bagi la seat apa pon janji sampai. but with the assigned seat taklah kita kena berebut-rebut lagi.

nowadays malaysia airlines pon have fare yang affordable. itupun thanks to airaisa because mas have to compete with airasia. in fact sometimes if you boleh plan carefully flight ticket kl-pen can be cheaper than bus ticket kl-pen. but the hassle to go to/from airport la pulak.

the birds and the bees

my mom told me that my sister who got married in march is now 5 weeks pregnant. mom seemed happy. but she dinna announce it to the whole clan yet during our weekend gathering in ipoh last weekend. she must have her own reason.

my other sister who got married in 2006 is still trying. she's been undergoing several tests and procedures and up till this moment still not giving up hope. though we are close i am not that good in discussing this kind of issues with her. belum ada rezeki kot.

as for me for the time being i am contented with two of my own.

the first one was concieved right after we got married.

and the second one came four years after.

when i conceived my first born i was hoping for a girl. with all the dresses and hair bands in town who wouldn't. masa scanned and was told that it could be a boy i was still hoping up till the last minute that it could also be a girl. bukannya tak bersyukur. terlalu mengikut emosi agaknya. dapat boy pun ok. alhamdulillah.

when we decided to start trying for the second child i did some research as to how to conceive baby girl with the help and power of the Internet and of course that was just for fun, as at the end of the day semua tu kuasa allah.
some of my friend believed in Chinese lunar calender. but i did not. sebab tak nampak logicnya. tapi mungkin kita punya hormon ikut kitaran bulan ke ape ke? ntahlah
but it took me quite some time to get pregnant second time around. faktor umur dan terlampau mengikut tips hendak mendapat anak perempuan gamaknya.

yang bestnya allah makbulkan juga doa. alhamdulillah.
so for now my prayer goes to both my sisters (the newly pregnant and the one who's been trying) and all ladies out there of the same boat. insyaallah

selamat hari guru

selamat hari guru kepada semua guru-guru.
kerjaya guru memang mulia.
banyak juga cikgu-cikgu dalam family.

arwah opah dulu cikgu.
sebaik saya masuk form 4 dia pernah cakap
"aku cikgu; mak kamu cikgu; kamu pun nanti cikgu senang"
tapi saya bukan cikgu.

mak kerja cikgu.
dah pencen pun orang masih panggil cikgu. bagus kan?

tapi tak pernah diajar oleh mak. kami tak pernah satu sekolah. seramai 6 orang anaknya; anak yang last saja berpeluang diajar olehnya.

bernasib baik? siapa? kami? atau anak yang last tuh?

arwah ayah dulu pun cikgu. mengajar di mckk.
kalau berjalan jumpa student nya yang bukan calang-calang nampak riak muka bahagia dan bangga.
walau bukan anak sendiri; anak didik pun jadilah tumpang berbangga.
masa check-up jantung di hkl dulu pon he was attended by one of his former student.
sampai dah arwah pun title cikgu tetap tak hilang.

daripada 6 anak mak. sorang je masuk line mengajar. itupun lecturer. yang lain takde kena mengena. yang last masih belajar. tapi tak amik course perguruan pun. tak taulah kot nanti amik kpli pulak. hehehe

menantu-menantu tok pon kebanyakannya cikgu.
kalau jadi cikgu memang ramai yang nak buat menantu
senang mengurus rumah tangga katanya.
cikgu kerja half day.
tapi sekarang tak tahulah.

SELAMAT HARI GURU
(waah mesti dapat banyak hadiah!!) aiman dan hanna pon sebok balut hadiah tadi.

pork free

last week jalan jalan carik makan.
ada satu kedai baru bukak at the corner.
quite big and the deco quite intresting.
dah lama plan nak try tapi tak kesampaian
hari tuh teringat
so pegilah namanya pon My One S******. ala ala menyahut seruan satu malaysia.
masuk masuk tengok customer agak ramai.
melayu cina india semua ada
deco sangat cantik.
tengok menu on the table ada jual beer. oh rasa tidak sesuai anak anak tengok.
tengok menu yang dia bagi alamak di tulis PORK FREE aaaa
memangla bebas babi (atau adakah percuma babi?) tapi adakah ayam/daging and ingredients ditanggung halal.
terus tekak rasa loya. sebab disebut sebut binatang itu. hahahha
kalau tak mention taklah imagine sangat.
terus keluar.
cari lah kedai lain yang tak tulis PORK FREE tapi ditanggung halal.
hilang was was.
tapi heran motif PORK FREE itu ditulis.
dan masih terpikir-pikir hingga sekarang.

perihal bibik

my maid went back to indonesia last october.
she refused to renew her contract after serving me for almost 4 years.
her reason: mau nengok orang tua di kampung
for me its fair enough since she has decided that she doesn't want to work anymore.
plus dari dia mengaku nak sambung pastu tak datang lagi kijam kan.

a couple of months after she left i got to know from another maid near my housing area that she's gonna work in singapore. all the while she's been smsing me asking bout the children and all but has never mentioned bout working in singapore thingy.

after a while i asked her bout that to show that i already knew bout her intention and i have no hal bout it. ye lah sana gaji manyak.

then she said that she dinna passed the test to work there in singapore. tahulah dia sekarang yang dia idakla pandai sangat. dalam hati ku ketawa gumbira.

she had to come to malaysia coz the agent had already did her pasport and medical and etc or not she had to pay them. so she came i think early this year. before she came she smsed me and i said kalau majikan baru kamu nanti izinkan dapatla kita jumpa since dia dok cerita teringat sangat kat hanna and all.

no news from her since she kata she nak berlepas ke malaysia.

i have been talking bout her nasib with hubby. kena dera ntah si tasini ni. but am sure no sane majikan would allow her new maid to call around telling people she's here right? so i assumed she need time to convince the majikan that she's ok then they will allow her to have phone and all.

petang semalam dapat miscall from unfamiliar number.
pastu message masuk. ibu ini aku kok tasini.

i called her back out of curiousity and kepochi (boleh gitu)
so apparently the latest news is she dah run away from her new majikan.
tak sanggup. she kata lah (am not sure its true or not)
the new majikan tak kasi saya makan, semayang, kena kemas dua rumah, kena jaga anak 4 orang and majikan lelaki mau buat jahat sama saya.

maybe it's true. pity her but now she's living with her friend and working as cleaner.ntah ntah memang nak keje cleaner kot. rileks skit ada opis hour.

dalam hati dok mengomel tulah elok elok kerja ngan aku kau nak berenti. sekarang dah jadi PATI.
kasihan tu kasihan jugak cos dia dah jaga anak kita elok kan. tapi kalau dia kata nak mai kerja balik ngan aku camana? ADUSS perasan lah aku ini ngegeeeeee

selamat hari bunda

woke up with a kiss by ayah and had breakfast in bed prepared by him. happy mother's day he whispered. thank you. and he said i dinna have to do anything today. everything is on him. be it breakfast, lunch dinner and the kids plus the laundry. i only need to enjoy myself.









yeah right.



i woke up early morning as usual siapkan aiman pegi sekolah. nobody mentioned about mother's day. ayah did the laundry tapi i kena sidai kain. though sunday had to attend case today. out for werk for half an hour. balik umah. plan to have lunch outside (note that i am the planner here). pick up aiman and had lunch at mcdonalds cos hanna is not well so kena pleasekan dia. balik umah. angkat kain yang dah kering. dump it in the maid's room for the helper to lipat tomorrow. then only got card from aiman. ayah said (at 4pm) hari nih jgn kacau mama give her a break on mother's day and then he dozed off to sleep. and i pon tidur. while hanna and aiman main-main. and woken up with hanna nangis nangis nak minum etc while ayah still asleep.

that's a normal mother's day to me. the first one i supposed is my imaginary mother's day. bersyukur je ngan apa yang ada. those mothers yang dapat special treatment like my imaginary mother's day am happy for you.

me? i am just contented with what i have and be loved every day.

selamat hari bunda semua whether or not you are celebrated/appreciated. bukan senang nak jadi bunda.

an emotional week

the thing that i waited still dinna turn up. so i am now quite agitated and nervous as to why i still dinna get it. anyhow that is the main reason why i felt so emotional and vulnerable and the events that occurred is not helping to my emotional state either.
i have problems with aiman. he dinna take me seriously when i asked him to do the homework or memorize the multiplication or do this and that. plus he started telling lies you know. not a serious kinda lie but tipu kecik2 nak save his ass or not he would be in trouble kinda thing. i am so worried and though being the garang-est in the family still aiman tak kesah.(patutlah ada tag line itu) memang aiman tak kesah kot. or is it me yang sangat garang that scares him alot and thus encouraging him to create white lies. oh aiman. ( tapi i dulu pon tipu jugak bila takut kena marah)
glad to have friends having anak of the same age. it seems that most of them are facing the some problem i.e the children is lying (or not saying the truth sounds better) to the parents just to save themselves.
oh he's just 8 years old and i started having headache oredi.
and having the remark that i put on weight again and again by the most dearest person to me also hurts like hell at the moment.

warning: do not come near me at the moment

sepetang di hari isnin

i am so stressed at the moment. the helper just informed me at the very last minute that she couldn't make it today. off all days. dahla my mom is not around today. kalau tidak takla bagi impact yang besar sangat to me. plus i have to pick up aiman from school coz he got punished for not being able to answer question during chinese class. so extra class extra hour and the driver couldn't wait.
so at the very last minute when the helper said she couldn't come i had to bring hanna along to pick aiman. plus to be more dramatic it started to rain. alhamdulillah the traffic today was not that bad. i got to wait in front of the gate. no need to go and fetch him and drag hanna along since i could just waive at him from the car dan janagn lupa dalam keadaan yang berhujan.
masuk kereta aiman kata mama class cancel. the teacher dinna turn up. sangatla emosional terasa hati mahu meronta dan menangis tapi ditabahkan hati.
plus i am due for my pe***d = faktor penyumbang untuk lebih emosi.
so here i am stuck at home with these two kids and i had to cancel reschedule my appointment this afternoon.
hope tomorrow i will get wonderful tuesday

kerna ibu

we are now in our fifth month of the year. this month rasanya akan menjadi bulan yang sibuk.
mak's house yang under renovation will complete i think by middle of may so akan ada agenda perpindahan bulan lima ini. hendak packing dan memasukkan barang. the past few days pon sibuk dgn membeli brg2 rumah baru. mak pon sangat excited. she's been living with tok since ayah passed away. though she bought a house near tok's house but she do not have the heart to leave tok alone. now got another cucu living with tok. so mak ambil peluang untuk hidup sendiri.
mula-mula mak bagi reason to stay with me to look after my children since bibik balik. now she's moving into her own house 9the house that she and ayah bought but never get the chance to live together). so happy for her. and i know with her moving my life will definitely be upside down since i'll be the one who's going to have a sneak peek of her every day. takpala. apalah sangat kalau nak compare apa yang dia dah buat kat kami.
month of may is a mother's day celebration.
kira mother's day gift to mak this year is for her to live in her own house after 18 years. i think she has gone through a lot. ayah passed away when she was 44. my eldest sibling at that time was sitting for spm and the youngest was 3 years old. kami semua enam beradik.
she could not drive though ada lesen.
she never managed her money
she never even withdraw money from the atm machine.
it must be quite hard to have single handedly raised us all. thankfully we were blessed with a caring aunty and grandmother from my father's side since mak dah tak ada sapa-sapa on her side.
abang further his studies in australia. so he was there most of the time. leaving me the second in the family to look after mom and my sisters. i have done my best to kurangkan beban mak. so have all my siblings i guess. and i believed we have made her happy.
now we are all grown up. 4 of us are married. leaving another 2. only one is still studying in her final year. so mak dah boleh bernafas lega sekarang.

thank you mak for everything.

masuk hospital

hanna was admitted to the hospital on the 20th december 2009.

she was feverish in the afternoon. i gave her some medicine and the temperature subsided. at night she was shivering and we took her to the hospital. her temperature at that time was 42 degrees. they had to cool her off and they advised us to be admitted just to monitor her temperature.

nasib baik hanna good girl. kena poke dgn needle pon tak nangis. brave girl la hanna ni.

water was inserted to help reduce the heat

tetap lalu makan walau di hospital

mousey menemani hanna all the time. thank you mousey

makan ubat susah sikit.

general room jer hehheh thank you prudential.

we promised abang for a trip to kl that weekend. but he still could not put up his pants (see to the hospital with kain pelikat) plus since hanna was admitted so kl trip was cancel. but abang was sweet enuff to come and accompany his sister even in his sarung.

mama love you all loads.